In the last fortnight I've taken the fifth, sixth and seventh exams since one of my alters, I don't even know who, made the suggestion that I might be able to try to take a course and that it would be okay if it all went wrong, just as it did at the start of last year when I began a course with no exams and no qualification at the end. I had to quit due to my mental health not being good enough to continue, mental health that's made it impossible even to attempt things like that for lots of years.
In September I had no real confidence about getting far with the courses without breaking down. I honestly thought I had a 50/50 chance of getting past week four but was glad to have recovered well enough at least to make the attempt.
I've done well in my studies so far.
Exam five was for the PowerPoint module of the Level 2 ECDL course. I studied for it in a fortnight but could have taken the exam in a week had I been allowed.
I scored 100%.
Exam six, on Monday night, was for the Improving Productivity module of the Level 2 ECDL course. I studied for it in a week. More accurately, I studied for it in an hour. It's meant to be the hardest module of the course. It's not.
I scored 97%, my joint lowest exam mark for the course, a mark which means that somewhere I made one error while finishing the one hour exam in eighteen minutes.
I had to laugh. The course tells you that it's good practice to go back and check your work - among other blindingly obvious things - but the exam system doesn't let you go back and check anything.
That's the level two ECDL course finished. There will be another certificate for my wall to remind me, if I'm struggling, of what is possible. Next I'll be studying the level one ECDL course. A strange order of study but it's the way the college chooses to do things. Strictly speaking the level one course isn't needed. It's a lower level qualification than the one I've just achieved. I don't have to pay to take the course though so I'm doing it. Three more exams to look forward to. They will be fine, I have no concerns.
Then came exam seven, on Tuesday night. The first module of AAT Level 2 Accounting, Bookkeeping Transactions. There are four more exam assessments in the course.
This happened, and when I saw this result on my phone I nearly gave a fist pump in the air and shouted "Yes!" very loudly. I was on a bus though and hid my joy from the other passengers.
I scored 100%.
I'm massively pleased with that. Who wouldn't be? If you score 90% for the whole course that gets you a distinction. 80% gets you a merit. 70% gets you a pass.
I'm also quite surprised. Not a single error in 120 marks? I knew that I'd absorbed the course material well but not to make even a single slip felt pretty incredible. I know how easily I make silly mistakes with things I know perfectly well. Most of us are quite good at that!
I now need to score an average 75% in the other modules to get a merit for the course. But wouldn't a distinction be a satisfying achievement? It probably won't improve my job prospects much but it would be a massive boost to my confidence going forward to seeking work and studying the level three course next academic year.
As for the Mad Studies module I'm taking at Northumbria University, there is an assessment but no exams. It's only week three but so far I don't have any of the difficulties I had with it last year causing me to start to drop out at week three. I'm also a lot more confident in the discussions and can make far more of a positive contribution to things than I could a year ago.
I am grateful for how the courses are going. I am grateful for the positive changes of the last year and those of the previous year too though both years have been tough and the changes have come mostly through hard work, accepting distress, and they are mostly nobody's fault but my own.
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