Brother in Christ - A poem for a man who made our lives better

Dedicated to a brother in Christ, someone who made my life in a particular church and community much better.  That was in the late 1990s, a very different life than the one I have now.  He made all our lives better.  Those who know will know.

Brother in Christ

We were pastel attempts among Jesus Army Reds.
We’d sit innocently among brothers, take the piss,
And hang onto every insistent word of Noel Stanton.
We played games to endure his often abusive drone -
When we weren’t lying back in the
Far field of the Cornhill among the rebellious;

The half-lost sheep with their sickly stone weed stench.

Back in the Vineyard, always overcooked cabbage.
Or undercooked.  Rarely right.  Except when
A goddess gave out never-ending flapjack.
The Rockfast Prince frowned daily
At our impressions of our infallible pastor.
“Pumping, Pumping, Pumping.”  “You Fools.”
“You Idiots.”  “God hates covenant breakers.”
And apple crumble desserts every day.
Apples, grade two at best.  Picked lovingly,
Without pay, begrudgingly, from New Creation orchards.

We’d laugh.  At the stolen cars,
The knife wielder, the bad mechanics,
The unfortunate missing link, the craziness and compassion,

And at Stanton himself.  Unwavering.  Firebrand.  Fraud?
We sang the songs, lost in worship

Then rolled in hysterics at the crap ones,
Or the day 2000 people stuck pieces of paper
To themselves with one printed word: “YES.”
Which most of us didn’t mean at all.

We laughed.  I remember it, the unrestraint.
Laughter above all the pain.
Laughter triumphs over control and coercion.
Laughter wins.  Survival in the laidback cult.
Laughter.  Give me back laughter.
My friend, say it isn’t true.

Laugh again and sing with us.
Come back, and ride the Jesus Army
Double decker buses though they drive no more -
Like you.  Pained, tormented,
Lost.  You, lost.  Today I wish you heaven.
I wish you peace.  Brother, I loved you.

Pumping.  Pumping.  Pumping.  In your voice.
Your face, your smile.  Your excitement.
I remember it all and do not hold back my tears,

For you.  For endings, for despair.

Rest in peace, bruv.  Bless ya, bro!
No more demons.  No more gods.
All exorcised by a ending.  Life too brief.
I would forget your ending
And remember only laughter.

            Died 7th March 2020